I have some great specialties, but I certainly didn’t get there by myself! I want to make sure that there are plenty of resources available for anyone and everyone. Feel free to share or comment on anything that you find interesting!
Overcoming Addiction
There are a lot of resources out there for overcoming pornography. It is important to know that the road to recovery and whole hearted living is very individual. There is no one way to get out of the deep dark abyss of pornography and sex addiction. Here you will find several ways and resources to use for overcoming addiction. First and foremost I want you to know that the opposite of addiction is connection, not sobriety. So many people want to go out and identify themselves as an addict. But the reality is that addiction is only a part of your life. There are several other aspects of life and sometimes they are overshadowed by the addiction because it seems to oppressive and overwhelming.
Learning to connect with yourself, or being able to bare to be present in your own life is hard work. There is also the need to realize that you cannot do recovery work on your own. Everyone has to come to the same conclusion that they need people enrolled in their support network to aid them in recovery. So not only do we have to learn to connect with ourselves, we also have to learn how to learn to others in a very deep, vulnerable, authentic and intentional way. These things are difficult but worth the work.
http://unashamedunafraid.com
This is website that shares in-depth stories of men in recovery
https://www.lds.org/addressing-pornography?lang=eng
https://addictionrecovery.lds.org/?lang=eng
Body Shame and Dysmorphia
I have come to find that body shame and body dysmorphia are way more common than people think. They also look much more familiar than people would imagine. Do you ever look in the mirror and criticize yourself? Or do you simply avoid the mirror so that you don’t have to make eye contact? This is not just for women either.
Men will often find themselves going to the gym so they can take care of themselves. But often when they arrive, they find themselves being highly critical and using comparison to make themselves feel terrible. The gym can often be one of the ways that people punish themselves. Avoiding the mirror can also be an addictive habit for either sex.
I find that it is so important for people to be comfortable in their own skin. The following videos represent some ideas to be taken into consideration when you think of your own body satisfaction or dissatisfaction. Are you grateful for the way your body functions? Are you grateful for your body and its ability to operate daily tasks? Have you ever thought to thank your body for being such a great friend that it complies with your wishes and demands? Probably not, I didn’t start out that way either. And frankly I still struggle with some of these ideas. But it is important to work on it daily. So yes, the struggle is real!
Transparency or Thick Skin?
I really enjoy reading Brene Brown. Her style is so unique and personal. She is also very transparent. Over the past decade I have learned that in order to have healthy relationships I need both transparency and boundaries. Transparency for me comes in the form of intimacy and vulnerability.
I read a bumper sticker last year, it stated, “A good friend can see through you and enjoys the view!” My appreciation for that simple phrase came because I realized that it wasn’t in spite of who we are, but because of who we are that people love us. In order to have great relationships, I have to be willing to share my self, struggles, viewpoints, affection, words of affirmation, etc.. Even if we don’t agree it is important to feel heard, validated and understood, that is how real connection takes place. In my work with clients I have found that boundaries are one of the most common things that are lacking in relationships.
Boundaries are the way in which we teach other people how we want to be treated by letting them know what is okay and what is not. Through appropriate boundaries we are able to facilitate connection and feel deeply invested in a community, family and individual relationships. Being able to hold appropriate boundaries is how we show others that we value ourselves so that they can reflect that belief back to us. I wanted to share some videos and resources so that others can adventure into this territory of self-worth.
Be careful, this video may change your life….